Mini Vacation - Monday 2/14

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

First off - holy crap it was windy and cold by the coast! We drove up about 55 miles north to Crescent City (almost to Oregon now!) It looks cold & windy... but I'm telling you the photo doesn't do it justice. You really can't tell that the wind was pushing me and inflating my jacket and my pants, I was giggling and trying to yell at Josh to hurry up with the flippin photo!
Then we drove inland a little, much warmer and less windy! Ok, not a ton warmer... but into Jedediah Smith Redwood State Park. Josh wanted to show me the Smith River. It's color is amazing and Josh was actually a little disappointed by it, said it is so much more emerald green and blue when the sun is out. I was impressed by how green/blue it was on such an overcast and rainy day!
Then we headed back a bit south and Josh found the trail head he wanted to take me on so we pulled over and hiked down to where the original highway was - can you imagine this was the highway? I have other pics where it literally just drops off. Hoping that back in the day there was a little more land on the coastal side... You can see the middle white lane stripe in this pic. We even found an old highway marker. We grabbed some wine at the only little "market" and headed back to the house for Valentines Dinner that Theresa was cooking up for all of us! SO sweet they wanted to share their prime rib valentines dinner with us :) We were very grateful and had a lot of fun.

Mini Vacation - Sunday 2/13

Sunday morning we slept in and on the way out we swung by a local favorite spot of ours, Cafe Trieste to grab lattes and egg sandwiches for the road. I was in the driver's seat and am not a good driver-eater so I am just as surprised as the next person that I did not have bacon grease and bits of egg all over me :) And out of Oakland we go! An hour and a half into it, we knew we wanted to swing by Santa Rosa, CA to see if we couldn't grab Josh a taste of Pliny the Younger from the Russian River Brewery. It only gets brewed once a year and they can only do a small batch. Last year it sold out in one day, this year they made some precautions to help that. You can only order a 10 oz glass, you can't buy it in a growler to take home, etc. As we drive down the street we go "There it is! ....and there is the ridiculous line everyone is waiting in to even get a chance to get in... :( " So we get back on the highway feeling a little bummed. We were definitely going to try again on our way back home on Tuesday... but if they sold out in one day last year, what are the odds they will still have some on Tuesday? To cheer Josh up I told him to google brewing companies and see what pops up on the map that sounds interesting and not far off our drive up north. We settled on waiting to get up to Fortuna, CA (200 more miles north) and popping in at Eel River Brewing Co. So glad we did!! I am a total fan and this is coming from someone who really doesn't give a crap about beer. They won an award in SF in 2010 for their Acai Berry Wheat - really good, I had a small 10 oz. and I also tested their Amber and fell in love so we got a growler of that to take as a gift to our hosts (Yes I was hoping they'd share!). Josh had to try their double IPA and as I already was skeptic since I do know I do not like hoppy beers, have never had an IPA that tasted anything near drinkable... why would a double IPA be any better? Wouldn't I dislike it twice as much? Shockingly, I really liked it. Very fun and also a weird experience for me as I had no idea I liked beer so much until Eel River! (Which I also learned, the actual river, does have fresh water eels - eeeee! yuck).

Backing up, back on the road from our Santa Rosa failed beer stop about 127 miles more of my driving, I saw a road sign for the drive through tree! I remember seeing the 1950's postcards of the drive through redwood tree and dreaming of being able to see it. I also remember reading at some point that you could no longer drive through it and maybe that it had even died/fell down. All these vague facts, but I do remember being a bit sad I'd never have the chance to drive through the tree. Little did I know there are more than the one famous tree that was in the postcard and more importantly it was going to be on our way!! I can't explain how childlike and excited I was. Josh said he could care less (also probably because he grew up around redwoods, I'm sure it's a lot less exciting) but he laughed at how enthusiastic I got and was more than happy to detour off the highway.
After the tree and some photos of us goofing off in a hollowed base of an old redwood, we hopped back on the highway 101 another 80 miles until Eel River beer time. Then it was just another hour and a half to Orick, population 650 - woo hoo, party! Well we did actually, but just in the confines of our hosts living room :) There really isn't anywhere else. Another fun surprise... Josh had told me nothing of the couple we were visiting other than they were in their 50's, had known him for about 12 years from being regulars at his bar and they had kids about his age. Left out the part about them being Dead Heads. It was certainly not a big deal to me, just a funny little surprise we were staying with total hippies who used to follow the Greatful Dead and sell tie dyes out of their van, lol. SUPER sweet and awesome couple, we had a blast hanging out in the evenings with them. She cooked us ribs for dinner that night too! Yay for home cooked food!

Mini-Vacation!

Time away with Josh, Finally! I am so excited to just be with him for 3 days straight and look forward to relaxing!! All we do is work completely different schedules, never a full day off together to even do a fun day trip, much less any type of overnight vacation so I just can't wait for this quality time :)

Josh knows a couple who have continually invited us up to their house in Orick, CA and with our budgets this is the perfect little vacation. Gas money, food money, done. It's about a 5+ hour drive to this tiny town north of Eureka near the coast, then we have 2 nights of free, homey lodging, with I'm assuming lovely people, relaxing and eating is about all we are gonna do and I am perfectly ok with that. We want to go hiking on Monday, but yay for 100% chance of rain.... oh well, we've decided we'll attempt it anyway. Once your up under all those redwoods, the rain doesn't hit down as hard and who cares if we get wet? What else are we doing? :) At some point, most likely on the drive back down, Josh is looking forward to stopping at a few of his favorite breweries for some beer tastings. Then back to work Wednesday... ok, I'm just not gonna think about that right now.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Non Happy Day Post (beware)

Blogs are great to remember the good times, the fun moments, the "keepsakes", but not many venture to diary about the negative stuff. It's ok, I usually prefer to avoid it myself. Opens the door up for commentary on something that is already bugging or upsetting you. Today is a bit different as I just can't get this angry bitter voice out of my head whose been lingering there for months now, so I decided just to vent it out, hoping it stays here and not in my head where it's doing nothing but damage. And when I look back over my memories and good times, I'll hopefully have a very satisfying feeling of "Remember that shitty time?! Thank god it didn't last..."

And so my selfish rant begins.
I'm on a huge budget crunch and it's never ending so the motivation is tough to come by when there is no end in sight. People think I'm doing so good, I'm not going on vacations, I'm not buying new clothes, not eating out at restaurants... no people, I'm not shopping at all, not even for groceries. I'm not trying to sound pathetic and homeless, I'm trying to vent off some frustration because I feel very alone and very misunderstood these days. I avoid going to the grocery store because it's so expensive! Unless you want to buy the processed crap and ramen as your staples, fresh fruit and veggies cost a lot! This is why I just go home and end up eating cereal as my main course, along with the occasional pasta dish and toast. Toast is filling and I like toast. This is why the $4 subway sandwich is cheaper than buying the fixings at the grocery store. It doesn't go bad, doesn't go to waste and if I'm not in the mood for a stupid sandwich again then I just don't go buy one. I opt for the $5 soup across the street. I've been working a ton, which brings in no more income than before, just more worry about when and what am I going to eat to give me fuel to get through the long days without spending money. Which is probably why I got sick. I'm not stupid, I know my body needs vitamins and nutrients to be healthy, but then we are back to the expensive ass grocery problem. I babysit part time to bring in cash to fund any other items that pop up on the budget, my cats food and litter and other personal products. It's hard to work at a fancy firm and try to look fancy so you get promoted when you feel like a loser. I could stop going to my hair salon, but that would be the day I lose it and would have to be clinically admitted. Probably not the best budget slicer then.

Then there is the friend alienation feeling. Nobody purposely doesn't invite me places or doesn't want to be my friend (god I hope...sometimes I'm really not sure, but lets not go there), but when you cannot afford to do anything, why would anyone invite you anywhere? I could just keep turning people down and keep my tight budget to myself, but I don't want people to think that I don't want to hang out. But if I tell them I can't hang out because of a tight budget, then they feel guilty and say they'll pay for something or another if I can come out - I can't do this because this is not a short term tight budget, so when does it stop? I accept a freebie from a friend one day, (honestly it's painful for me to do any day) but I mean they won't keep offering, and to be VERY clear, I would never accept anyway, so the long and short is, they know I can't afford to do anything so they just don't ask. Without a social life I live for the time I get to spend with Josh. This is great cause I am so lucky to have such a great boyfriend. But anyone who knows will tell you that without your own life, you won't seem so interesting to a significant other. Awesome right? I'm unhealthy, tired, sick and have no friends. So tell me... why is it SO easy NOT to throw a little on your credit card? Oh I'm not wavering yet, don't you worry, I've gotten so good at not spending any extra money it's awesome... yeah, super awesome.

January 2011 - went by in a very very work induced haze unfortunately. Still a bit fuzzy to be honest.

I came back from Texas and it was back to the daily grind. Hurumph. Super happy to see Josh after 9 lonely days away from him, but part of the reunion was a little disappointing for me. For 2 quick seconds I'll recap my own pathetic feel sorry for myself moment. It's stupid. Are you ready? It was our FIRST christmas and we didn't get to be together and I had gotten over that, kind of. Well first of all, Josh is soooo hard to buy for! He knows what he likes and is rather picky, plus he would be very disappointed if I spent much money. So what in the world do I get?! I consider myself to be a pretty good gift giver, but was at a complete loss while shopping for him in Texas and felt the pressure of the "first gift" thing too. PLUS his birthday was Jan. 7th so I had that looming as well. I opted for the last resort option which was his specific gift request: a sweater that had small zippered neck which I was happy to find they were in style and Macy's was having last minute sales, bonus. That also meant slim pickings and it seemed everything that caught my eye was out of his size :( Long story short, ok not really, I found 2 "ok" sweaters and they were complete failures. *sigh. They were ugly and didn't fit him. I told him we'd go shopping and get him something else... It's February 5th and we still never have. With him working weekends it's not like we run many errands together, but it's mainly that he will not let me buy him anything while on my huge budget crunch. So there you go, first xmas not together and I gave him nothing. Sweet. Everyone says it's not a big deal, but the firsts are fun and a big deal at the time and mattered to me. A few years down, sure, we'll have a good laugh at my sucky gift giving. Plus he did pretty damn great on my gifts - dingus! Got me a hat from a little old and well known hat shop just down the street from my place in north beach, I love hats, and a cookbook for idiots. Ok, not really "for idiots" but it really is a cool cookbook that gives you secrets to cooking and will hopefully rid me of some of my cooking anxiety! Maybe...

For Josh's birthday he enjoyed the afternoon with his sister and friends while I worked and then I met them at a bar and from there Josh and I did end up having a very cozy and romantic dinner at Dopo near his place. It was pretty fantastic. Great food and great conversation :) I gave him a coupon I bought for 2 (him and a buddy) to go play paintball sometime. Then I was informed that it's not really that fun with only 2 people and more fun with a group. Sweet, another fail. :( Well, on the bright side he definitely does not love me for my money or awesome gifting skills.

That's it. The rest of January has been almost 7 days a week constantly working mostly due to lack of help in one office and new/difficult clients AND then me trying to do a more than usual impressive job on all this chaos so as to make manager later this year. After 7 years I better!! This on top of my random 2+ weekly babysitting gigs, trying to make time for Josh, the chiropractor and gym time... which was seriously once a week because there was NO time. I've been exhausted constantly.

So it's February. Fingers tightly crossed Josh can get the days off he requested so we can go on our "first" (yes, setting expectations super low) little vacation. I just want to relax and actually spend more than 12 hours in a row together! Just a road trip up north and staying at a friend's house.