5 more days and I'll be sending:

One of Josh's really good freinds lives near Kona on the Big Island and we are going to visit for a week!  We've been lucky to get the time together to take a few weekend trips over the last year and that has been wonderful.  I am now looking forward to a full vacation to a relaxing and romantic destination with him!  Our flight leaves at the crack of dawn on Friday the 25th and is direct to Kona arriving at 11am so we will have a full day the first day!  A week later we will fly home Thursday late afternoon.  I'll hopefully have some fun stories and good pictures to post when I get back!

Chapter 1 - Fall in Love

Capter 2 - Honeymoon phase 

Chapter 3 - Real is fun

Chapter 4 - Moving In!!!

October 29th I moved in with Josh into his place where he has lived for almost 10 years.  It has been a few weeks and people keep asking us "so how's it going?  how's moving in been?" ... I'm always at a loss on how to answer that, lol.  I'm like, well... we haven't yelled "ABORT!!" yet.  We work such different schedules that we aren't around each other all that much more so we are still getting along and the physical details of moving in are... a process.  *sigh... a process.  We both knew this and talked enough about it that we aren't freaking out yet.  Like I said, Josh has lived here for almost 10 years.  He has a lot of stuff and this has been "His" place for a very long time.  Now it's his place with some of my stuff.  I mean, he has been GREAT, don't get me wrong and he is ready to make changes, merge stuff and buy new things, etc., it's just not going to happen over night.  So for now we have a lot of crap, are not all that organized and never have days off together to really make any big decisions.  It's a process....

Did I mention that it's not as easy to prepare a cat and a dog for the "process"?  Actually they are doing remarkably well considering they didn't get any warning or pep talk to prepare.   And thankfully Sebastian has never minded dogs and Indie has nothing against cats.  That being said, Sebastian has still always been the King of his castle and moving into a new place with the owners of the new scents still inhabiting the new castle was not something he was super cool with at first.  He didn't pee on Josh thank god, but he did pee on Indie's bed, lol.  And only the one time so that's a good start.  He and Indie "play" in their own weird way and it's amusing to watch.

I've also learned that the outside knobs on the oven do not turn on the burners on the back of the stove after managing to explode a baked dish of cornbread :/   I thought I was heating up the tea kettle on the back burner and instead heated up the already cooked corn bread resting on the front burner.  The baking dish exploded, glass everywhere and obviously ruined my yummy cornbread.  I should rewrite a new version of "The Joys of Cooking"... it would be less informative for most people, but I think very helpful for people like me.  I think Jamie Walsh could also offer up plenty of stories for this book.

Early October my Mom flew me to Texas on a Friday morning so we could go see Dolly Parton together!!  We had some brisket as soon as I got off the plane, went home to get ready and then drove to Cedar Park to see Dolly.  I love her.  (My mom as well, but I was referring to Dolly just now)

She told stories in between her songs, sang some old favorites and some stuff off her new album as well as a few of her favorites like "stairway to heaven" and a few Beetles songs.  Such a fun and wonderfully sweet lady.  I was so happy to see her live with my Mom!  After the concert we met my dear friend Jennifer Bayless, who I've known since I was 21 from my Joe's Crab Shack days and being roommates for a year in Austin.  It was a beautiful and warm night so we sat on a patio at a restaurant and had a giant beer-rita.  Mmmm.  It was so great to see Jennifer!  It's been way too long :(

Saturday I knew I'd have a window of free time to meet Chandra for coffee as my Mom is not the fastest morning person.  She was still in bed when I left the house, lol.   Although very brief, we got to do a little catch up over breakfast and coffee, it was nice.

My Mom and I spent the day doing a little shopping and eating and went home to hang out that night.  I had to be at the airport at noon Sunday.  *sniff.  Short but still a very fun visit.

September really flew by.  For my birthday all I wanted was to leave work early and go get a massage and then have dinner with Josh.  I happened to have booked my massage with a special coupon, but also had been emailed a birthday coupon, which I used to book Josh a massage too!  He had his earlier in the day, then I had mine, went to my house to clean up for dinner and Josh picked me up.  I chose to go to one of my old favorites from my old SF neighborhood, Assab.  After a great dinner, Josh said he'd bought tickets for us to go see "The Help" at the Kabuki theater.  It's no Alamo Drafthouse, but it does serve alcohol and my favorite part is you pick your seats!  Anyone who knows me has dealt with my neurotic need to arrive at the movies early.  They seem to think my early is too early.  Thank goodness for Kabuki and my assigned seat, I am ok with walking into the theater 5 minutes before the movie starts.

Great massage, great dinner, great movie, great boyfriend.... great birthday.

P.S. ------->  Like my new glasses?  My birthday present from Josh :)

Reeeee...laaaax....inggg....

Cari Cohorn I love you!!

My good friend Cari Cohorn won 2 mud bath's at a charity auction and chose to take ME with her to Calistoga for a night's stay at Indian Springs Resort!  We had lunch with her husband, Kevin, before hopping on the road and heading up through Napa, St. Helena, to Calistoga where we checked in and immediately jumped into the plush robes in our room and walked over to the spa.  I had absolutely no idea what to expect really and I think that increased the blissful experience.  Cari and I didn't have our actual mud bath appointment for about 2 hours so we thought we would check out the spa and see what kind of options we had while we waited.  We followed the pathway to the Buddha relaxation garden and My Oh My was it relaxing!  Around the pond with fountains were palm trees shading padded chaises and I tell you the fresh air smelled like a spa, it was so soothing I can't begin to describe it.   A perfect afternoon with warm, mild temperatures and a good book, a good friend and a heavenly spot.  Wow.

I happened to bring along the book "A Minds Alley" and after a few minutes asked Cari, "I'm reading a book on buddhist thinking, at a 'buddha relaxation pond' with a statue of buddha staring at me... do you think it's too much?"  lol... ahhh... zen.

Then it was time for our appointment!  At this point I was just so happy and relaxed I didn't think it could get better.  It was about to.  As we were lead to the mud bath room, giddy with excitement, my zen mood came to a bit of a speed bump.  What was this concrete, hard, functional, non-spa looking room??  Kind of reminiscent of going into a busy kitchen behind the scenes of a posh, quiet restaurant.  Okaay... I'm definitely not sure about this...  We disrobed and were lead to our concrete basin filled with black mud.  Awkwardly naked laying above the mud, my helper quickly piled mud onto my "bikini areas" which I thought was kind, ha!   As she continued to pile globs of mud on me, I sunk a little farther into the mud.  Can I tell you... I could've been ANYWHERE and been sent back to my happen zen world.  This was awesome!  I would relax, breath and just feel weightless and in heaven.... then I would wiggle and try not to laugh out loud at how rediculously fun it felt to fill like I was floating in thick jello.  Hee hee.

After about 20 minutes, as great as it was, I was worried that was all it was about and we were done.  Nope, there was more.  My assistant helped me out of my mud and coated in black, I walked over to the showers and rinsed off, then was lead to my own claw foot tub to soak in a warm mineral bath, given a cold towel for my head, some cucumber water and a nail file to pick the dirt from under my nails.  Cari was next to me in her own tub.  We chatted a little, but that mineral water is fantastic and the relaxation ensued.  After about 15-20 minutes we got out and were lead to the steam room to sit as long as we wanted.  I think we did that for about 5-10 minutes as it was very warm.  Then we got our robes and were lead to our individual rooms where we had soothing spa sounds and were wrapped in a linen blanket to relax, nap and slowly bring our body temperatures down.  Cari and I later said we both went to a very meditative state during that time.  It was phenomenal.

After that luxurious afternoon, we headed back to our rooms to shower and get dolled up for dinner.  To thank Cari for her generosity, I was taking us to dinner at a highly recommended spot in St. Helena called "Tra Vigne".  Cari and I shared made fresh to order buffalo mozzarella and tomatoes, a sweet corn soup, a basil infused pasta with lamb, a spring vegetable pasta and then the best desert ever: a butterscotch crema with rosemary pistachio cookies (these things were amazing?  heavenly?  awesome?... I'm running out of adjectives!).   There was good cocktails and wine too ;)

We were told to make sure we go to the heated mineral pool at night, so we made sure to get back in time for that.  The pool doesn't close for guests until 10:30pm... and we spent every last second in that pool!  I have never felt so relaxed just hanging onto a pool noodle.

A great night's sleep later, we woke, put on our robes and went to find the complementary coffee.  Low and behold it was set up oustide our back door!  It was a little overcast, but we didn't mind.  Robes, lounge sofas, fountains and coffee and right outside our room, it was a great morning.  Then we got organized and checked out, but that left the rest of the afternoon to enjoy laying out and enjoying the mineral pool.  We managed to pull ourselves away from heaven and leave in time to hit a few wineries on the way home.

BLISS.

Our Quick Visit to Pioneer, CA


Was actually earlier in the month of August, before my Mom's visit.

Josh's Mom (Cheryl) & Josh

Josh and I drove up (east) to his Mom's place for lunch and a quick visit before heading over to his friend Chris' parent's house for a get together.  Chris and Josh are good friend from high school and Chris now works in Italy as a chef...  Cannot wait to visit ;)  I met a lot of people from Josh's home town/high school years, it was fun.  I was the outsider of course, but they are all really nice people so it wasn't too painful.  We stayed the night at his Mom's and the next day we attempted to go pick blackberries, but the summer had been so cool this year that they still weren't ripened.  Along with Chris and his girlfriend Francesca, we all hiked down to an area by a river.  Josh and his mom showed me how to pan for gold, ha!  ...no gold for me, but we saw a father-daughter team with a bunch of tools, looking a little more focused so hopefully they had more luck than us.  It was a beautiful day and sadly a short visit and Josh wanted to head out in time to show me Sutter Creek on the way home, which is where he grew up and where he worked in his grandparent's little restaurant.  His brother Jake lives in the apartment loft on the top of the big white house where the restaurant was, but he wasn't home.  This leads me to our little encounter that delayed us about 30 minutes:

Got this lil gem ;) ..Love his smile!!

We left our dog Indie in the car for a few minutes to see if Jake was home and when we returned there was a crazy lady screaming at us saying she called the cops on us for leaving our dog in the hot car.  Um... we tried to not laugh and remain calm, but omg... it was late afternoon/mid-day sun, about 80-ish so a tad on the warm side, but the windows were all rolled down at least 5 inches (he could hang is head out), it was shaded in the back seat, but the silly dog of course has to go in the front when we leave, and again we were gone about 10 minutes.  He was fine.  If she hadn't been obnoxiously yelling at us and acting like we were irresponsible, abusive, crazy people, then I would have given her credit that she had no idea how long we were gone.  *sigh... oh well.  The police officer was really nice, said it was obvious the dog was fine and we were normal people, but that he'd rather be called before there was a problem.  We were ready to get back to the city.

Mom & Aunt Elaine's August Visit

Happy 1st year Anniversary
*Love*

Chan-Shel-n-Mel in San Antonio
20 Years :)

Friday morning we hopped in the car with a "mix tape" of songs thanks to Chandra (what do you call the modern version of a mix tape? Mix tape just sounds so perfectly cheezy and romantic that I can't imagine what would be as good). We stopped at Chandra & I's old stomping grounds in San Marcos for some lunch at Palmer's Restaurant. It's still a nice place, but funny how we remember it being SO fancy when we were in college since those days were usually $5 dinners if we were lucky and had the money and Palmer's runs in the $10-$15 average, lol.

Back on our way, we headed to San Antonio to check in at the JW Marriott Hill Country Resort. So awesome! Huge hotel, great rooms, fabulous pool with lazy river and out in the middle of nowhere so we just secluded ourselves there to relax for 2 days. It was great to spend time with my girls. Melanie and I had a hysterical ride in a joint tube down the water slide, we lounged on our chairs, chatted, read our books, had lunch and took dips in the pool and rides around the lazy river. Fantastic if you ask me. At dusk they leave the main pool open and show a movie. Melanie had to take part in the smores and then we made our way around splashing kids to a spot in the pool to enjoy some of "Despicable Me" before heading over to the adult edgeless pool to have some chit chat time.

Had to leave it all behind on Sunday, but we stopped in New Braunfels at my favorite restaurant, Huisache! Chandra worked there back in the day and it's still just as good as I remember. YUM! Then back to Austin to hang with Josh & Izzy for the evening. We all had breakfast the next morning and then dropped Mel off with her folks and Chandra drove me to the airport.

Til next time...

4th of July

It was a great weekend. Another joyous moment when Josh told me he didn't have to work Sunday or Monday!! Last minute is impossible to do any overnight trips on a holiday weekend, but I did score us 2 kayak rentals to go 10 miles down the Russian River on Sunday the 3rd. It was an amazingly sunny, hot, perfect day. We cruised down the river, stopped to have our picnic lunch and wade in the cool water and continued cruising. Then, as we passed a little beach full of people enjoying this holiday weekend I heard "Shelby?" What the... haha, it was my friend Audrey and her fiance! I can't believe she recognized me under my sun hat and out of all the people passing by at a constant rate. We pulled over and enjoyed a beer with them, then headed on our way. Right when my hands were going to give up from all the paddling, our stop was just ahead. We bussed back, got our car and headed home, but not before a quick stop in Santa Rosa at one of our favorite beer pubs.

Monday the 4th was great. Josh and I had a yummy breakfast outdoors, then went to visit Sally and his godson, Azure. He is getting so big, he used to fit on Josh's forearm. Sally is looking at moving back to Germany in September or October :( She's ready to be back in her own home and also has to get it packed up for when Kevin is done with his stint in Afghanistan in early Spring. Hope they get stationed somewhere much closer!!

Josh and I then went over to his friends, Dean & Amanda's house to ring in the 4th. Amanda is Josh's sister's best friend since they were 13 and now they are moving to Portland :( They have 2 adorable kids, Sadie & Wyatt (now I can't use that name! lol). They were troopers, but since it doesn't get dark til way after their bedtime, we had to do the fireworks at dusk. Oh, and Amanda gave Phillip a mohawk. Lots of great photos!

June 20th = day I MET Josh (not first date)

It's the first year so I think it's perfectly acceptable to be silly and celebrate 2 anniversaries :) The day we met and then a month later, our first date. However, he will actually be out of town backpacking in Yosemite for the second one.

Other June excitement:

Welcome Baby Nolan!!

Congrats Amanda & David and big sis Emily!!

May...

Officially, as of May 1 - I have a new roommate! Oddly enough she's stayed at the apartment about 30% of the time anyway as she is my ex-roommate's girlfriend. Which sounds odd since I didn't care for him too much, but she is really great. Super sweet and fun to chat with. She cooks a lot too and sometimes offers me some :) I'm wondering if I couldn't just give her my $10 a day allotted for food and eat whatever she's cooking... I wish, lol. Although, I am actually going to just enjoy my single girl habit of picking up food here or there or cereal or whatever. Waaay to soon I am aware that things will never be the same. In a good way. Once Josh and I move in, we'll have more reason to cook for each other, someone to eat leftovers so they don't last 5 days and both motivate each other to eat out less. And then one day, a while from now, I'll have to worry about not just feeding myself! All good reasons to live in the now and just go with my own flow. I want to see if I can get sick of my absolute favorite mexican food joint just 2 blocks from my house :) Nick, the bartender and part owner of Don Pisto's, is already a little annoyed that I have an expiration date set for when I'm no longer a neighbor. *sniff. Nick and I hit it off right off the bat as he lived in Austin for a while and owned a restaurant there. Don't ask me what it was, I don't remember and didn't know of it when he said it anyway. PS: the weird pic, it's my alley and I looked up and saw the asparagus poking out. Huh.

Things I love about my neighborhood:
- Walking to work when the sun is out (yes, even when it's cold, just not raining!) and knowing I get to be a part of this quaint neighborhood at this special time. It's quiet :)

- Entertaining myself on the walk to and fro, looking in all the shop windows

- The smell of the French-Italian bakery that I stop in nearly everyday for the ultimate croissant. (I'm not biased, I've brought several people one as a treat and they all rave about it) and the old ladies who run the counter and ask "what have you hon?" They know, but ask anyway :)

- All the crazy old asian ladies in Washington Square who do their odd yoga dancing every morning. I'm really not judging, they obviously have put 2 and 2 together and realized that frequent exercise is they key to being 100 and still trotting about all over the city. Who would've thought? (sarcasm)

- All the old italian men, haha... just so picturesque. I actually get really sad thinking about what will happen when they are all gone? Are their enough Italians still in North Beach to keep a flock of old men about?

- The Hill. ugh, yes I said it. Some days my nemesis... but either way I have to get home and my body thanks me. That is, as soon as it's done hyperventilating.

April - part deux:

Welcome Azure Poseidon Graham!
(Josh's godson)

& Congrats to new Mommy & Daddy, Sally & Kevin :)

April

Josh and I were lucky to squeeze in another little getaway, a surprise destination planned by Josh! :)
We originally planned for me to take time off one Thursday so we could just have a normal full day together and do things we keep saying we wish we could do. Then Josh asked me if I thought I could get a Friday off too. I said "but you work Fridays" and he replied "yes, but I was going to ask off" ...so he told me to pack casual and not to get too excited. The night before we left was great because I got to meet his oldest sister who was visiting from New York. We, including his little sister Beth and her boyfriend, went out to dinner and it was fun being around his siblings (minus the 2 younger brothers). Thursday morning we grabbed breakfast and got on the road and I still didn't know what direction we were even headed! South. Ok. Then an interesting detour in San Jose, Josh showed me the house he was born in :) Back on the road we were now going west so I guessed correctly we were heading to either Santa Cruz or Monterey. As we kept going past Santa Cruz, Josh clued me into his plans which were to drive along Hwy 1, take me to Hearst Castle, stay in Monterey and do some light hiking around Big Sur. Plans were changed due to a landslide on Hwy 1 just 20 miles north of the castle. We were both a little disappointed but it was a sunny, beautiful day, we had great music, snacks and enjoyed driving the scenic route. He took me to a famous spot in Big Sur, the McWay Waterfall Trail that has a view of a movie set looking beach with a waterfall. Can you imagine this being your backyard? There was once a house built on this cliff and once it became a state park they tried to keep the structure, but it was too unstable. Back in the car we stopped at a different trail and hiked down to a spot where there was a little bench and a middle aged couple was already sitting enjoying the waves and a bottle of wine. Come to find out they had come here accidentally on a first date 20 some years ago and were celebrating an anniversary. They were really sweet and took our picture. As we were heading back to Monterey we saw a little dive restaurant bar in the middle of Big Sur with a "Happy Hour 5pm-7pm" It was 4:59 so we immediately pulled over and as we did I just about died that there was a giant turkey we almost ran over!

Back to Monterey to check into our hotel, we cleaned up and headed out for dinner & drinks. Nothing fancy, but we had a great time especially at a local bar "observing" some of the locals ;)

Next morning we grabbed a relaxing breakfast and drove the scenic drive around Monterey - I cannot get over the eye popping electric pink-purple flowers that cover the ground:

After that we drove towards Carmel to check out Point Lobos.
Josh had been several years ago and I'd heard about it several times but not been. A really beautiful place with easy hiking/walking around trails. Usually VERY windy at some of the points, but we lucked out with a less windy day so it was perfect.

March Madness!

LOL... growing up with my brother Trey, this is stuck in my head whenever I think about March. I'm amused that both my work calendars have chosen March to be burnt orange (from Austin/UT... yeah it's ok if you don't get it).
March is a little mad, my computers are defintely mad and making it near impossible to get work done so I'm going to end up going mad. Working a lot, babysitting, finding time to do the little things we all have on the to-do list, hang out with Josh, save money and then... oh right, I need to squeeze in that whole gym thing :(
I'm seeing my wonderful chiropractor, the amazing Dr. Chae, only once a week now. Was going twice a week for 5 months and will keep going once a week throgh this month and then, fingers crossed, every other week. Dr. Chae is actually a friend of Josh's and really helped him after his big motorcycle accident a few years ago. I've recommended two friends from work who seem to love him as well. One girl is in her early 20's, a very fit runner, but kept complaining of nerve pain and the other girl has similar back issues as me but also lives with fibromyalgia and he's working with her on a specific diet he learned about to hopefully help her more! Now that I have the chiropractor doing his thing and helping my spine and body be aligned and healthy, I need to do my part! Although the budget frowned upon extra expenses, I knew this was important and I also knew I needed help. I have never been a workout person. I like to be active and I want to be healthy and fit to have kids, grow old and still be active, etc, but I hate working out!! I hate gyms. I think I hate them because I have no earthly idea what to do there. Go to classes? Um.. yeah, I am so out of shape I'd last 5 minutes, leave with low self esteem and never go back. I need to get a little stronger first. Machines? What the hell are these do-hickies and how do I know I'm using them right much less with the right form so I don't walk away injuring myself further?

So I got a (sigh) gym membership at the Club One which is right in my office complex so I will require less motivation to at least get to the gym (this really is key.: getting to the gym). When you start they offer a special for 3 sessions with a trainer. I hate when trainers don't take my back situation seriously. They act like "everyone has back issues". Really? Is everyone as physically weak as I am? Does everyone throw their back out to the point of not being able to move, sit and therefore miss work? Anyway I got a trainer and she was ok, but she kept cancelling on me so then of course I wasn't going to the gym to walk around not knowing what workout I should be doing! Finally I made an appointment with a manager there and told them I was not happy with my experience, that I really did need the guidance of a good trainer to even start coming to the gym regularly. They were really embarrassed by what happened (they had also just found out she just up and quit) and so they offered me 3 new sessions with a better trainer. I ended up getting a call from the head trainer and he said he'd work with me until he could find one of his other trainers to help me. It was the BEST training session I've ever had. Everything we did was a full body exercise and they all were with perfect form and perfect for my back. I was so sore the next day but did not feel my back ache once!
With me luck, I have to make myself go!!

Mini Vacation - Monday 2/14

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

First off - holy crap it was windy and cold by the coast! We drove up about 55 miles north to Crescent City (almost to Oregon now!) It looks cold & windy... but I'm telling you the photo doesn't do it justice. You really can't tell that the wind was pushing me and inflating my jacket and my pants, I was giggling and trying to yell at Josh to hurry up with the flippin photo!
Then we drove inland a little, much warmer and less windy! Ok, not a ton warmer... but into Jedediah Smith Redwood State Park. Josh wanted to show me the Smith River. It's color is amazing and Josh was actually a little disappointed by it, said it is so much more emerald green and blue when the sun is out. I was impressed by how green/blue it was on such an overcast and rainy day!
Then we headed back a bit south and Josh found the trail head he wanted to take me on so we pulled over and hiked down to where the original highway was - can you imagine this was the highway? I have other pics where it literally just drops off. Hoping that back in the day there was a little more land on the coastal side... You can see the middle white lane stripe in this pic. We even found an old highway marker. We grabbed some wine at the only little "market" and headed back to the house for Valentines Dinner that Theresa was cooking up for all of us! SO sweet they wanted to share their prime rib valentines dinner with us :) We were very grateful and had a lot of fun.

Mini Vacation - Sunday 2/13

Sunday morning we slept in and on the way out we swung by a local favorite spot of ours, Cafe Trieste to grab lattes and egg sandwiches for the road. I was in the driver's seat and am not a good driver-eater so I am just as surprised as the next person that I did not have bacon grease and bits of egg all over me :) And out of Oakland we go! An hour and a half into it, we knew we wanted to swing by Santa Rosa, CA to see if we couldn't grab Josh a taste of Pliny the Younger from the Russian River Brewery. It only gets brewed once a year and they can only do a small batch. Last year it sold out in one day, this year they made some precautions to help that. You can only order a 10 oz glass, you can't buy it in a growler to take home, etc. As we drive down the street we go "There it is! ....and there is the ridiculous line everyone is waiting in to even get a chance to get in... :( " So we get back on the highway feeling a little bummed. We were definitely going to try again on our way back home on Tuesday... but if they sold out in one day last year, what are the odds they will still have some on Tuesday? To cheer Josh up I told him to google brewing companies and see what pops up on the map that sounds interesting and not far off our drive up north. We settled on waiting to get up to Fortuna, CA (200 more miles north) and popping in at Eel River Brewing Co. So glad we did!! I am a total fan and this is coming from someone who really doesn't give a crap about beer. They won an award in SF in 2010 for their Acai Berry Wheat - really good, I had a small 10 oz. and I also tested their Amber and fell in love so we got a growler of that to take as a gift to our hosts (Yes I was hoping they'd share!). Josh had to try their double IPA and as I already was skeptic since I do know I do not like hoppy beers, have never had an IPA that tasted anything near drinkable... why would a double IPA be any better? Wouldn't I dislike it twice as much? Shockingly, I really liked it. Very fun and also a weird experience for me as I had no idea I liked beer so much until Eel River! (Which I also learned, the actual river, does have fresh water eels - eeeee! yuck).

Backing up, back on the road from our Santa Rosa failed beer stop about 127 miles more of my driving, I saw a road sign for the drive through tree! I remember seeing the 1950's postcards of the drive through redwood tree and dreaming of being able to see it. I also remember reading at some point that you could no longer drive through it and maybe that it had even died/fell down. All these vague facts, but I do remember being a bit sad I'd never have the chance to drive through the tree. Little did I know there are more than the one famous tree that was in the postcard and more importantly it was going to be on our way!! I can't explain how childlike and excited I was. Josh said he could care less (also probably because he grew up around redwoods, I'm sure it's a lot less exciting) but he laughed at how enthusiastic I got and was more than happy to detour off the highway.
After the tree and some photos of us goofing off in a hollowed base of an old redwood, we hopped back on the highway 101 another 80 miles until Eel River beer time. Then it was just another hour and a half to Orick, population 650 - woo hoo, party! Well we did actually, but just in the confines of our hosts living room :) There really isn't anywhere else. Another fun surprise... Josh had told me nothing of the couple we were visiting other than they were in their 50's, had known him for about 12 years from being regulars at his bar and they had kids about his age. Left out the part about them being Dead Heads. It was certainly not a big deal to me, just a funny little surprise we were staying with total hippies who used to follow the Greatful Dead and sell tie dyes out of their van, lol. SUPER sweet and awesome couple, we had a blast hanging out in the evenings with them. She cooked us ribs for dinner that night too! Yay for home cooked food!

Mini-Vacation!

Time away with Josh, Finally! I am so excited to just be with him for 3 days straight and look forward to relaxing!! All we do is work completely different schedules, never a full day off together to even do a fun day trip, much less any type of overnight vacation so I just can't wait for this quality time :)

Josh knows a couple who have continually invited us up to their house in Orick, CA and with our budgets this is the perfect little vacation. Gas money, food money, done. It's about a 5+ hour drive to this tiny town north of Eureka near the coast, then we have 2 nights of free, homey lodging, with I'm assuming lovely people, relaxing and eating is about all we are gonna do and I am perfectly ok with that. We want to go hiking on Monday, but yay for 100% chance of rain.... oh well, we've decided we'll attempt it anyway. Once your up under all those redwoods, the rain doesn't hit down as hard and who cares if we get wet? What else are we doing? :) At some point, most likely on the drive back down, Josh is looking forward to stopping at a few of his favorite breweries for some beer tastings. Then back to work Wednesday... ok, I'm just not gonna think about that right now.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Non Happy Day Post (beware)

Blogs are great to remember the good times, the fun moments, the "keepsakes", but not many venture to diary about the negative stuff. It's ok, I usually prefer to avoid it myself. Opens the door up for commentary on something that is already bugging or upsetting you. Today is a bit different as I just can't get this angry bitter voice out of my head whose been lingering there for months now, so I decided just to vent it out, hoping it stays here and not in my head where it's doing nothing but damage. And when I look back over my memories and good times, I'll hopefully have a very satisfying feeling of "Remember that shitty time?! Thank god it didn't last..."

And so my selfish rant begins.
I'm on a huge budget crunch and it's never ending so the motivation is tough to come by when there is no end in sight. People think I'm doing so good, I'm not going on vacations, I'm not buying new clothes, not eating out at restaurants... no people, I'm not shopping at all, not even for groceries. I'm not trying to sound pathetic and homeless, I'm trying to vent off some frustration because I feel very alone and very misunderstood these days. I avoid going to the grocery store because it's so expensive! Unless you want to buy the processed crap and ramen as your staples, fresh fruit and veggies cost a lot! This is why I just go home and end up eating cereal as my main course, along with the occasional pasta dish and toast. Toast is filling and I like toast. This is why the $4 subway sandwich is cheaper than buying the fixings at the grocery store. It doesn't go bad, doesn't go to waste and if I'm not in the mood for a stupid sandwich again then I just don't go buy one. I opt for the $5 soup across the street. I've been working a ton, which brings in no more income than before, just more worry about when and what am I going to eat to give me fuel to get through the long days without spending money. Which is probably why I got sick. I'm not stupid, I know my body needs vitamins and nutrients to be healthy, but then we are back to the expensive ass grocery problem. I babysit part time to bring in cash to fund any other items that pop up on the budget, my cats food and litter and other personal products. It's hard to work at a fancy firm and try to look fancy so you get promoted when you feel like a loser. I could stop going to my hair salon, but that would be the day I lose it and would have to be clinically admitted. Probably not the best budget slicer then.

Then there is the friend alienation feeling. Nobody purposely doesn't invite me places or doesn't want to be my friend (god I hope...sometimes I'm really not sure, but lets not go there), but when you cannot afford to do anything, why would anyone invite you anywhere? I could just keep turning people down and keep my tight budget to myself, but I don't want people to think that I don't want to hang out. But if I tell them I can't hang out because of a tight budget, then they feel guilty and say they'll pay for something or another if I can come out - I can't do this because this is not a short term tight budget, so when does it stop? I accept a freebie from a friend one day, (honestly it's painful for me to do any day) but I mean they won't keep offering, and to be VERY clear, I would never accept anyway, so the long and short is, they know I can't afford to do anything so they just don't ask. Without a social life I live for the time I get to spend with Josh. This is great cause I am so lucky to have such a great boyfriend. But anyone who knows will tell you that without your own life, you won't seem so interesting to a significant other. Awesome right? I'm unhealthy, tired, sick and have no friends. So tell me... why is it SO easy NOT to throw a little on your credit card? Oh I'm not wavering yet, don't you worry, I've gotten so good at not spending any extra money it's awesome... yeah, super awesome.

January 2011 - went by in a very very work induced haze unfortunately. Still a bit fuzzy to be honest.

I came back from Texas and it was back to the daily grind. Hurumph. Super happy to see Josh after 9 lonely days away from him, but part of the reunion was a little disappointing for me. For 2 quick seconds I'll recap my own pathetic feel sorry for myself moment. It's stupid. Are you ready? It was our FIRST christmas and we didn't get to be together and I had gotten over that, kind of. Well first of all, Josh is soooo hard to buy for! He knows what he likes and is rather picky, plus he would be very disappointed if I spent much money. So what in the world do I get?! I consider myself to be a pretty good gift giver, but was at a complete loss while shopping for him in Texas and felt the pressure of the "first gift" thing too. PLUS his birthday was Jan. 7th so I had that looming as well. I opted for the last resort option which was his specific gift request: a sweater that had small zippered neck which I was happy to find they were in style and Macy's was having last minute sales, bonus. That also meant slim pickings and it seemed everything that caught my eye was out of his size :( Long story short, ok not really, I found 2 "ok" sweaters and they were complete failures. *sigh. They were ugly and didn't fit him. I told him we'd go shopping and get him something else... It's February 5th and we still never have. With him working weekends it's not like we run many errands together, but it's mainly that he will not let me buy him anything while on my huge budget crunch. So there you go, first xmas not together and I gave him nothing. Sweet. Everyone says it's not a big deal, but the firsts are fun and a big deal at the time and mattered to me. A few years down, sure, we'll have a good laugh at my sucky gift giving. Plus he did pretty damn great on my gifts - dingus! Got me a hat from a little old and well known hat shop just down the street from my place in north beach, I love hats, and a cookbook for idiots. Ok, not really "for idiots" but it really is a cool cookbook that gives you secrets to cooking and will hopefully rid me of some of my cooking anxiety! Maybe...

For Josh's birthday he enjoyed the afternoon with his sister and friends while I worked and then I met them at a bar and from there Josh and I did end up having a very cozy and romantic dinner at Dopo near his place. It was pretty fantastic. Great food and great conversation :) I gave him a coupon I bought for 2 (him and a buddy) to go play paintball sometime. Then I was informed that it's not really that fun with only 2 people and more fun with a group. Sweet, another fail. :( Well, on the bright side he definitely does not love me for my money or awesome gifting skills.

That's it. The rest of January has been almost 7 days a week constantly working mostly due to lack of help in one office and new/difficult clients AND then me trying to do a more than usual impressive job on all this chaos so as to make manager later this year. After 7 years I better!! This on top of my random 2+ weekly babysitting gigs, trying to make time for Josh, the chiropractor and gym time... which was seriously once a week because there was NO time. I've been exhausted constantly.

So it's February. Fingers tightly crossed Josh can get the days off he requested so we can go on our "first" (yes, setting expectations super low) little vacation. I just want to relax and actually spend more than 12 hours in a row together! Just a road trip up north and staying at a friend's house.